In the old days, the progress to adulthood and independence was quite straightforward. Your children either finished school and got a job or went on t
In the old days, the progress to adulthood and independence was quite straightforward. Your children either finished school and got a job or went on to university. Then they flew the nest to rent or share a flat before making the jump onto the property ladder.
But rising home prices, low initial pay and sheer overdemand have made it a very different picture today – and have created the so-called boomerang generation. It’s estimated that 32% of people under 34 have returned to live with their parents. For some, it’s a temporary measure but for others, it’s a longer-term prospect giving them some breathing space to get together some money to enable them to move out.
But however long the stay is planned to last, it’s certain to change the home dynamic, and not always for the better. However, there are two key ways that the disruption can, hopefully, be minimised if you’re a parent in this situation.
Give them their own space
The chances are that your returning adult children will have had a taste of independence and the sense of having their own space. So try to give them as much as this as you can in your own home. You may have tried to keep their room just as they left it but you should let them transform it however they want, within reason.
It could be that they physically need more space to live in so it could be time to think of adding a loft extension or converting the cellar. Look on this as an investment that could increase the value of your home, for a relatively small addition to your mortgage payment each month.
This is especially true if you visit somewhere like the Trussle free mortgage broker advice website where you can search for the most cost-effective deal to pay for your plans. If you are going down this route then it’s also only sensible in consulting with the person who’ll be occupying that space to discover exactly how they’d like it to be.
Leave them to lead their own lives
The very last thing that any adult child living at home would want is the continuation of any of the so-called helicopter parenting they may have experienced when they were younger. So constantly asking them what their plans are or giving career advice, however well-meaning your intentions, is sure to create a certain level of tension.
Other potential areas of conflict are all those domestic duties like cooking, cleaning, and laundry, so it’s also important to lay down some ground rules here. For example, make it clear that their laundry’s their own business to sort out and that, if they want to eat with you, you will need to know the days when they’re going to be in and what time they expect to be home from work.
Obviously, there are many more issues to consider, but these are the big two. Get them right and, with luck and co-operation, everything else should slot neatly into place.